The Time An Expat In Singapore Took a Little Holiday. In Paris.

While most of us spent our holidays in the region, and a few ventured down to Oz or up to Japan or China, apparently *some* of us find this region has grown tiresome, and were therefore forced to travel to more distant locales for their holidays.  Like, say, PARIS. The rest of us – the ones who spent our holiday *not* wearing berets and instead just chasing feral kids and drinking warm cans of Tiger beer in our own backyards – might feel a teensy bit jealous of our jetsetting friends. But we’d do well to remember: all that Joie De Vivre Francais can come at a cost…

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Shopping For A Snow Holiday – In Singapore

It’s Chinese New Year!

Which means all of Singapore is beautifully decorated with lanterns and banners, the Cold Storage soundtrack is set to “CNY Greatest Hitz,” and the international school kids get to dress up for one day, looking like a bunch of little tow-headed Kung Fu Masters. Also: It’s Half Term and so time to bring our spoilt mini-expats on ANOTHER vacation. This time we’re hitting the slopes – which we were ridiculously excited about (The cold! The snow! The cold!) until we started to pack and we realized we don’t own jackets, or long pants, or even closed-toe shoes. And now we’re all, Couldn’t We Just Have Done A Staycation? Like At Snow City Maybe?

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(Oh, and just for clarification, neither of us expects to see the other in a well.  (Thank god, right?  That would be a really bleak holiday.)  We meant “see you in a week.”  Frenzied shopping and packing doesn’t lend itself to careful texting.)

Share with someone you know who will be on that 6am flight to Tokyo (and if that’s you- we’ll see you there.  Order us a mimosa.).

 

First Class Travel In Singapore

One of the great gifts of expat life is travelling around this fascinating, beautiful part of the world.  And a big fluffy bow on that gift can be travelling with friends.  Planning your adventures together, sharing the sights and sounds, kids bonding, parents drinking, sunburns and tuk tuks and street food  – you might as well put the whole thing in slo-mo and set it to ukulele music.  That’s how great it is.  But every once in a while, even the best of friends are not on the same page about everything.  Like when, in one notable case, ferry tickets were bought, and one expat opted for Emerald Class (because that sounds amazing, right?) and one opted out…

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What Should Be On Every Singapore Expat’s Christmas List

We’ve never done this before, but we thought we’d specially curate a list for all our Singapore expat sisters out there:  Things That Should Be On Every Singapore Expat’s Christmas list, 2017.  So just in case that Special Someone in your life has left his shopping to the very last minute, and is texting you from the airport in Dubai and asking if there’s anything  you’d really fancy (and subtly suggesting that if it’s something that they happen to have at Duty Free that’d be terrific), just point him in this direction.

1. A Bra Liner!  Finally someone has an answer (other than wadding up paper towels) to the boob sweat.  (And no, the model in the pic is not one of us, though we admit the resemblance is truly striking.)

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2. Any Korean beauty product.  Because everyone needs more K-Beauty in their life, and nothing says “Deck the Halls” like rubbing snail slime all over your face.

3. This awesome fake rock to place in your garden and hide your house key in. Actually, scratch that, it’s Singapore.  We can just leave the key in the door.  Again.

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4.  A big ass popcorn bucket, and a GIANT wine glass. For those nights when you open up the Wives page and see a helper question.

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5.  This under armpit cooling device.  Is it a fashionable accessory?  Perhaps not.  But neither are the pit stains.  So get one like this guy, and set it on HIGH.

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6.  Travel wine bottle protectors.  We’re not kidding about this, people.  If you’re going back and forth on holidays and wrapping your wine bottles in dirty t-shirts in your suitcase, you’re just asking for trouble.  Class it up with some of these.

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7.  An umbrella – which is also a sun umbrella, which is wind-proof, opens and closes with one hand, and is small enough to keep in your handbag but large enough when open it to actually keep you – and a at least one child – somewhat dry.  And it has to be pretty, with koi fish or a Monet print or something.  And it can’t have that ridiculous wooden hook handle because you’re not clippity-clopping your way around Victorian London like Sherlock Holmes FFS.  Let us know if you find one that fits the bill.

8.  A device that FINDS YOUR CAR!  Because though we may need the exercise, ain’t nobody got time to be wandering the bowels of Vivo looking for their car.

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9.  Another magical and amazing invention that feels like it was sent to us straight from The Heavens… A shoe deodorizer machine. Because your kids’ feet reek. (And by “your” we mean “our”), and those cute sneaker balls aren’t making a dent in that stank.  What we all need is a magical machine that dries out your shoes and then disinfects them.  Technology FTW.

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10.  A Christmas stocking wine flask. Because we all know Mommy really only wants two things on Christmas morning: a bag of booze and a nap.

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Merry Christmas from Textpat Land.  And if Santa actually brings you any of these wonders, we want pics! XO TPW