Home Advantage(s) (Once more)

By now, eagle-eyed readers will have spotted something of a theme in our recent posts.  Yes, they’re all repeat episodes.  SORRY.  But:  (a) we’re thousands of miles away –  from Singapore, each other and, most significantly, our helpers*, which means that we just Do. Not. Have. Time. To. Text;  and (b) truly, these texts from last year sum up EVERYTHING happening in our lives right now.  (Although if pushed to sum our summer holidays up in a few words, we’d choose some variation of “glorious”, “hair”, “domestic” and “drudgery”.)  We’ll post something original soon – promise.  Just as soon as we’ve stopped checking out our hair in the mirror and folding the laundry.  (Often at the same time.)

(*It has dawned on us that all the free time afforded to us in Singapore by having helpers is basically used to text each other.  We’re slightly ashamed of that.  But only slightly.)





 

Four Floors, Redux

It’s summer holidays, which can only mean one thing:  we are in our respective home countries, weeping with the effort of domesticity, salivating over incredible supermarket produce, and unable to find the time to either text, or post said non-existent texts.  In times such as these, we do what all great artists do:  reproduce earlier work….  This post is from this time last year, but is no less pertinent now than it was then.

This summer, as last, the island essentially empties of expat spouses and children, and becomes a forlorn expat wasteland, populated only by lone expat men roaming in packs, looking for comfort in their time of temporary familial abandonment.  Some of these men, we are told, occasionally find themselves, late of an evening, in the environs of a large office/retail complex called Orchard Towers, the first four floors of which comprise bars favoured by prostitutes.  This has earned the building the misogynistic and offensive nickname “The Four Floors of Wh*res”.  However you might describe it, it’s generally accepted that if you’re a man in that building after hours, you’re there for one reason only – and it’s not to eat dinner.  (No matter *what* you might tell your wife…)



 

… or are you just happy to see us?

Yesterday was World Cucumber Day. (What- you didn’t celebrate??) Here on the Little Red Dot various bars hit on the fabulous idea of receiving cucumbers as legal tender for gin cocktails. And whereas on such occasions we would usually be found dragging suitcase full of cucumbers from bar to bar, alas yesterday the gods of good health were against us. Instead, we celebrated by eating crackers, sipping water, and sending our helpers to Watsons for… convenience items…

Some things are Classified

It’s nearly summer in Singapore which means one thing: The Annual Mass Exodus of Expats. Usually TAMEE is temporary: expats heading ‘home’ for a few weeks or maybe a few months (who’ll return refreshed and rejuvenated and weepily reunited with their helpers, vowing never to leave again). But some – thousands- are leaving forever. And while this breaks our hearts, like most crappy situations there are some upsides. (Especially if you collect random plugs and tent poles.)

Maylaise

Two things happen in Singapore’s Expatland every May: The Classifieds are awash with people selling all their belongings before they leave for good; and those of us who aren’t leaving begin to feel a bit…. Angsty? Mopey? Meloncholy? Luckily for all of us (although mainly for our husbands), this passes quickly, as soon as the summer suitcases come out and the next wave of adrenaline hits. But in the meantime, we mope…