You Know It’s Time for the Stayed-In-Singapore Expat Easter Holidays to end when…

It’s April, which means school (Easter) holidays – which are bizarrely at completely different times for every school in Singapore. Some people have been back at school for ages, and some of us are STILL on holiday. You can tell which is which because the latter group are the ones looking particularly haggard, Googling “kids silent activities,” posting their blogs from the tables at Bounce, and literally counting the hours until 8:00 Monday morning. (You’ll never guess which camp we fall into.) Nonetheless, as the holidays draw to a close, we raise our icy, drippy G&Ts tonight in congratulating all of us on surviving another school holiday. As we like to say, “It was real. And it was fun. But it wasn’t real fun.”*

(*We kid. There were real fun moments, of course. But nothing is as fun as a good, solid 8 hour school day. Now that’s fun.)

YOU KNOW IT’S TIME FOR THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS TO EMD WHEN…

1. You realize you haven’t actually seen any of your friends in real life in weeks. Seeing them on Facebook – swooshing down slopes in Austria, frolicking in the waves in the Maldives, and sipping wine in Margaret River – just doesn’t quite cut it. (And by that we mean ‘is infuriating’. Surely everyone should be suffering through these endless endless school holidays too??)

2. You have no idea what day it is. (Isn’t it Thursday today? Why is the Art Science museum free? Wait, it’s FRIDAY??? THANK YOU LORD. Two days to go…)

3. Your grand Staycation Bucket List (“KidZania! Museums! Beach Day! Pulau Ubin!”) now seems completely delusional, because the reality was more like “Condo pool! Then someone else’s condo pool! Then back to our own condo pool! How about some TV?’

4. You start feeling a little creeped out by how empty everything is. No queue at Baker & Cook? Why are there so many parking spots at the Botanics? Why is Orchard Road so non-chaotic? This is just… weird.

5. Your kids’ school uniforms have started to mold in the closet. (Just kidding. That started on Day 2.)

6. Your shorts and sundresses have all taken on a new, snug look in the midsection area (apparently two weeks of skipping bootcamp and binge eating chocolate eggs isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.)

7. Speaking of eggs, the chocolate eggs and Easter grass in the stores are all actually reasonably priced now, which you take note of and then duly ignore, because God knows the last thing your kids need at this point is any more treats.

8. You think you’ve been pretty strict about screen-time – ONLY MORNINGS AND EVENINGS!!! – but then when you add it up you realise that ONLY MORNINGS AND EVENINGS = SEVEN HOURS. Oops.

9. Can we please just go back to one supermarket trip a week? At Fairprice? Because those twice-daily pop-ins to Cold Storage are about to ruin you financially. (Although it’s *way* more sociable than Fairprice ever was. Basically, every expat who’s not in Bali or the Alps is in Cold Storage at least once a day.)

10. Your calendar suddenly appears to say that summer holidays are RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. Goddamit how can that BE?! Time to book some flights and sort out the airbnbs, ladies. (Not to mention the CHILDCARE.)

Happy Friday- and joyous end-of-holidays- everyone!

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